i don’t think anyone understands that when i say i get secondhand embarrassment easily i mean at the first sign of trouble for a character in a television show i immediately pause and sit there for ten to thirty minutes thinking “oh god they fucked up”

3 days ago // 107,004 notes



It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.

You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.

Unless you live in the Midwest, where we have Waffle House.

(Source: dion-thesocialist)

3 days ago // 355,171 notes


I’m in love with this girl. She’s gorgeous, smart, talented, funny as hell, and totally badass. That girl is me.

1 week ago // 31,683 notes


i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!” bitch myself bye

1 week ago // 518,141 notes



in spanish, we don’t say “i love you.” instead, we say “eres una pieza de mierda,” which roughly translates to “you are the one i want to be with forever” and i think that’s beautiful


1 week ago // 1,227 notes


blaze it? more like glaze it now how about some donuts

(Source: continent)

1 week ago // 83,916 notes

what if instead of laughing we just screamed “HUMOR” when we thought something was funny

(Source: bunnyravio)

1 week ago // 265,028 notes


next time a stranger tells you that youre familiar and youve met before they just cant remember where just clear your throat and tell them do you watch porn?

(Source: virginsacrificer)

2 weeks ago // 141,307 notes

what if instead of laughing we just screamed “HUMOR” when we thought something was funny

(Source: bunnyravio)

2 weeks ago // 265,028 notes



i finally have my life together!!!!

haha!!! april fools!!!!!!! !!  . ..

3 weeks ago // 3,004 notes



in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful. 

the more mind-obliteratingly stupid we find you, the more descriptive we get. “bless your precious, sweet, mama-loving heart” means we’re not 100% certain how you possess enough intelligence to draw breath.

3 weeks ago // 100,191 notes


Here’s a fun april fools day prank you can do. Sneak into my room and place thousands of dollars everywhere. Just on everything. Cover my things with an insane amount of money. Make it a real hassle to clean up. The more money the better the prank.

3 weeks ago // 209,201 notes